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It has been like 2 wks since I returned back to Singapore ... some things changed, most didn't, guess 6 months is not too long a time for everything to change ... met up with vivien n leo yst ... my 2 buddies in life science, we used to do lab together during our third yr, the lab wasn't fun ... but it was fun hanging up together n time runs faster ... couldn't imagine going through the honours year without most of my frenzs ... but guess it's all about adapting and making new frenzs ... but I will always treasure all my frenzs who I have the fortune to meet ... aniwae it was fun meeting up yst talking abt stuff ... complaining abt pple ... n looking at the fotots I took when I was touring Europe ... except time wasn't enuff ... aniwae leo was telling abt our loser professor giving her a hard time during interview ... he's juz plain crap ... most prof in NUS r crap aniwae ... i acutalli laughed up loud when vivien first told me she was doing her part time job as a clinic assistant ... haha ... my "intimidating" lab partner, the clinic assistant ... aniwae she got a kind heart, sometime see her expression realli made me laughed. aniwae leo was complaining abt her primary school kid trying to cheat in front of her ... guess both of us met with the same fate ... my primary 4 class is too giving me problem ... juz 2 names are enuff to give me nightmares ...  Chunkiat n Sebastian r enuff to deliver the worst nightmares to me ... sunday classes r hectic, 2 troublemaker classes but aniwae I won't throw in the towel cuz I hate to give up things halfway ...
next semester will be hectic ... 7 modules n everyone is persuading me nt to take it... Patrick was advising me against doing tt ... but i can't see myself spending another 0.5 yrs studying biology ... among the 3 sciences ... actualli i haven't realli liked biology ... except that as a small child I dreamt of the possibility of researching on AIDs virus, it is this childhood dream that is so dear to me ... that I actually bear the pain of studying biology years after years although I haven't been listening to class attentively ... funny ting is I alwae survived ... I took lots of risks in my life ... some paid off ... some failed except that I always remember the risks that paid off n tt it's why I kept taking risks ... some worthwhile ... some not worth the trouble at all ... but tt's life ... nothing perfect rite.... was telling Rongzhang tt I decided to work hard for nxt semester ... he actualli said tt then he could prepare to see me getting poor results ... becuz i nvr seem to be perform well when I worked hard ... when I studied last minute ... I did well but I can even fail when I worked consistently ... maybe I'm destined to work last minute ...
managed to return home earli in the afternoon ... wanted to sort out the modules i'm doing nxt sem ... but my nephew have been "bullying" me, I juz got back oni 2 weeks, but I have been the one who got "bully" the most, have to carry him around and when i juz sit down, he started to cry ... haiz ... alwae get bullied

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after Paris it's the last stop, Belgium, Belgium was not in my original plan ... but Mr Change Of Plan alwae has lots of changes up his sleeve, so my frenzs were nt surprised at all ... haiz i liked to change plans so often tt pple kinda blacklisted me liao ... aniwae lots of surprises packed in the last stop ... it has been a long way ... one mth holz in Europe ... 5 mths exchange stint in Sweden ... n it's like a dream ... everyday is a bright new start ... everyday promises something new ... something exciting ... something memorable which you weren't forget ... Sweden was never my first choice ... was never in my choice but it's a funnyove, I couldn't scream, all I could do was think "GET OFF ME, GET OF ME." Then I heard a voice in my head that wasn't my own saying "SPEEEAK". In English!! And then the pressure on my body went away. It was very strange and that time I was really scared.
I talked to my mum about it. Turned out she's been seeing stuff like this for years. Not a lot, but sometimes when she goes on holiday and has to stay in unfamiliar rooms. She also feels hands on her sometimes when there's no one around. She says she thinks it is my grandpa who died when I was about three years old. She told me to go talk to my aunt about it, yes this thing runs in the family.
My aunt used to see people walking on the street that weren't there for others to see. She'd point them out to others and they always thought she was nuts. I told her about the shadow I saw in my room and she said she sees them about three times a week. Sometimes the same ones, sometimes new ones. She said she had seen my grandpa more than once and was waiting for my grandmother to appear soon too. (Grandma died about six months before that.) Hearing this from my aunt was weird. I'd never thought she would be seeing stuff like this. She told me that the best thing to do was to try not to be afraid. Now that was hard to hear. How couldn't I be afraid? I'd never been so scared in my own house. I was singing all day as to prove to this "thing" in my house that I was happy and not afraid. It was weird. I talked to my aunt a lot in that period and she sort of taught me how to deal with it. Once she asked me if this was really the first time I was experiencing this and I started thinking back. I then remembered being thirteen or so and sitting on my bed in my room with my back against the wall, terrified because I could feel something/someone else in the room. I never told anyone about that, but in that period I was scared of being in a room alone. I "overcame" it by saying to myself that I was nuts, that there was nothing there and that I shouldn't act like such a baby. My aunt thinks that I've had this "gift" for a long time but pushed it away because I wasn't ready for it. Could be.
I'm used to weird stuff happening around me sometimes now and I even joke about it. Sometimes it makes me feel protected, so to speak, as if someone is watching my back. I was in my friend's basement once and while I was standing there I felt that something pushing me back. First I thought the floor was slanting, but it looked OK. When I started walking backwards, out of the basement, the pushing feeling went away. I thought "fine, if something doesn't want me in here I'll go wait outside." Nothing happened to the basement later, I mean, it didn't collapse or anything.
It's been a few months since I've seen or felt anything now and strangely enough I kind of miss it. I've never played with an Ouija board or conjured up spirits or something. I thought about getting an Ouija board but the thought of that scares me a little because I'm familiar with stories of things going terribly wrong and I don't want to call something bad on me. So I don't think I'll ever get one. I'll just wait and see if anything "scary" happens to me again sometime soon.

If I freaked you out or you think I'm weird and scary now then so be it. Believe it or not, this is a part of me. I wasn't sure if I should post about this, but I just did, didn't I.
If you want to comment on this but don't want the whole world to know what you have to say then my email is in my sidebar. Gosh, now I sound like one of those help organizations at the end of true story movies. Sorry about that.
Oh, and there goes my rule about not blogging between 10 am and 9 pm. It's just that this story took a while to type.
is but don't want the whole world to know what you have to say then my email is in my sidebar. Gosh, now I sound like one of those help organizations at the end of true story movies. Sorry about that.
Oh, and there goes my rule about not blogging between 10 am and 9 pm. It's just that this story took a while to type.
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continue with my summer vacation, after spain it was Paris ... it was a nite train to Paris so me n stella were looking forward to the first class cabin ... but alas when one is so hopeful abt tings, one is always in for a disappointment ... we were disappointed tt our cabin was realli small n narrow ... rather pathetic, but there is a bed, except tt it realli so cramped out ... n i'm living on the "third" floor, so it realli hard task to carry all my 5 piece luggage onto the top floor ... mine I donno how it started, by the end of the trip, I ended with 5 pieces of luggage which wasn't fun carrying ard ... guess I bought quite a couple of souvenirs for all my frenzs + relatives, cousins but I cld have bought more if i got more $$$, so it was blessing in disguise tt I din hav more $$$ to spend ... in fact I ran out of $$$ later along the trip n hav to borrow frm stella + rachel ... aniwae I was looking forward to Paris ... for 2 reasons ... Pere Lachiase in Paris lies the tomb of Oscar Wilde n Vincent Van Gogh spent a considerable period of his life in Paris... was looking forward to seeing VVG's painting again ... his painting has an effect on many others including me ... it's realli touching ... guess he's one of the painter that paints with such passion that it was impossible to feel it in his works ... I was gg to spend 4 gd days in Paris ... n it was Paris that we pple, me, stella, jayce n pple were gg to meet up with Rachel + yanyi again ... Paris was more than eiffel tower ... but eiffel tower was realli majestic n the view out there were MARvellous .... it was realli windi, so everyone hair were kinda messed up, mine too n my hair has realli grew long ... has been 6 mths since I cut my hair ... my hairdresser told me nt to my cut hair ... n I promised him ... n since tt it has been NO to all kinda of "invitation" to cut my hair ... mb I view promises too seriously ... it's sth tt shd nvr b broken ... the first day in Paris were basically just gg to the eiffel tower + Arc de triomphe ... we have pizza realli late at nite ard 12 am, oso met Vincent n his frenz who juz arrived in Paris... realli glad to meet another frenz frm Singapore ... the nxt day I started my tour with vincent + frenz ... went Louvre Museum, there were too much pple snapping the Mona Lisa fotos ... I donno the fuss abt the painting but it doesn't matter ... Museum de Orsay is realli the BEST museum in Paris ... they have a GD Collection of Impressionists painting including my favourite VVG, so me, Rachel + yanyi spent a couple of hours there ... luckily Rachel oso liked to see painting, if nt it cld b boring gg to the exhibition myself ... always dreamt of doing a lot tings as a kid ... a pilot, lawyer, scientist, artist ... was always inspired by artists in Singapore making landscape painting as a child ... but I just desperately can't draw, guess my right brain is too domineering n I just can't draw ... seriously in my family ... I'm the oni one who hopelessly can't draw ... donno how I get passed my arts lesson ... but I remembered I got top grade for my technical folio becuz I used all sorts of technique to trace the drawing I wanna made, the same for art, the magic of my drawing was in the CARBON PAPER n the copier which enlarged the things I wanted to copy ... seriously my RIGHT BRAIN was doing all the drawing ... so it was pretty hopeless... but I still admired artists ... becuz they could bring beauty our life and delivers special moment to us ... it is memorable and I couldn't describe how touched I was when I finally saw Vincent's 'Starry Night'. Aniwae the third day we went Notre Dame ... another cathedral ... travelling ard Europe ... the first ting abt surviving it is tt u GONNA face each cathedral with a renewed enthusiasm ... n the most difficult ting is tt there r SO MANY CATHEDRAL in the whole of Europe ... everyone was bored ... anyway by Evening time, I finally reached the tomb of Oscar Wilde ... finally after years of reading his works... I finally saw his tomb ... it was a hard time finding the tomb, but it was all worth the hard work, anyway his tomb was realli a work of art... pretty impressive ... aniwae tt nite France lost to Greece in the quarter final ... I was sad ... so were all the French watching at the Hotel de vile ... when Arsenal lost to Chelsea juz mths ago in the UEFA cup quarter final, I was a wretched man ... Rachel + Jane has to console me ... I have to reminding myself the bez team doesn't necessary win ... mb it was easier to get thru all disappointments with this philosophy ... no one liked to lose ... I don like to either ... but it's part n parcel of life. Paris ended with the tour of Versailles ... Stella realli liked it so much ... tt she told me she wld like to visit the plc for her honeymoon ... hoped she cld find her dream guy ... after Paris nxt stop Belgium ... more in the nxt journal...

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contine with my summer trip, after Italy, our group of ard 9 pple splited ... yanyi + rachel went to switzerland while me n a couple of frenz went Spain - the country I alwae wanted to go ... the country in which fascinate me for a long time ... I wasn't to be disappointed after I finished my trip 6 days after ... 3 cities in 6 days ... beautiful Barcelona with the architecture of Gaudi ... it's a masterpiece ... every building he designed was so fantastic tt one cld just fall in love with his creation ... but pity I oni got 2 days in the beautiful city ... with a nice metro line ... din get to go in to the gigantic, awe-inspiring cathedral Salvador Famili, but it's enuff after all in life it what we have or rather wat we seemed that mattered. anyway after tt we travelled to Sevilla, in Southern Spain ... me n Jayce always argued abt when to pronounced it as seville or sevilla ... both r correct ... one is the english spelling while the other is the spanish spelling ... aniwae who care rite ... it's supposed to be freaking hot ... but i spent the nite shivering out in the cold cuz i din book a hostel ... the train station was closed after midnite n we ended up sleeping out in the cold ... my experience but we weren't complaning cuz we have a nice tapas news ... aniwae by the time I left Barcelona I was rather sure tt my family wasn't successful in sending the $$$... which mean I got less $$$ to spend ... which was a gd ting ... because I alwae spent without any restraint... watched the bull fight n flamengo on the second nite I was in Sevilla ... it's my dream to watch both of them ... chance of a life time ... an intensive evening for me ... when I told a spanish exchange student I wanted to watch a bullfight, she looked quite disgusted ... I donno y den becuz I thot bullfighting was part of a spanish culture ... aniwae everyone the 7 of us were looking forward to catch the bullfight ... as a child ... was rather amazed by the bright clothing worn by the matador n the bravery they inspired ... Jayce was rather looking forward to watching the bullfight ... so he was rather disappointed when he was told that the bull used for the Sunday fight will be young bull and the matador with less than 2 years of experience ... aniwae after touring ard Sevilla and buying lotsa souvenir ... the bullfight was all it was left ... the matador get hurt during the match ... he was a brave matador ... get really closed to the bull ... but he made a mistake n was punished ... got stabbed on the thign ... n the blood was oozing profusely ... after the match i was tinking ... was really tinking abt the pain the bull muz have been feeling ... it was so torture n all becuz everyone wanted to see the matador performed ... but the poor bull was slowly tortured to his death ... mabbe I was a bit selfish when I told my frenzs that bullfighting will b banned soon ... all becuz I have watched it before and I found it rather unjustifiable, cruel n inhumane ... but culture ... gd or bad don change overnite ... old habits die hard. After Sevilla, the last city in Spain would be Madrid ... lotsa shopping malls ... lotsa Zara, the girls juz went crazy ... tink pingting n stella were enjoying themselves shopping ... pingting bought lotsa stuff n she must hav been really glad with her purchase ... tink i bought a couple of stuff for mom as well as for aunt ...

8 July 2004, Thursday - today attended my third commercement ... most of my frenzs were like "complaining" tt they saw me again today ... it's a happy ting seeing all of my frenzs graduating after 3 yrs of study ... they were realli happy n I guessed their family muz b proud to see them finally getting a degree ... took lotsa fotos with all my fellow frenzs ... they were happy to see me ... n we all glad realli loud until all those ard us were like noticing us ... It's like 3 yrs realli passed by so quickly ... time realli flies ... n it's sad becuz beautiful moments, sweet moments, happy moments filled all our undergraduate life and it was going to be over soon ... Rongchang looked realli scholarly in his attire ... one of my first few frenzs in NUS ... someone I realli suspected ... someone I got to know rather well ... his sister bought a cute bear for him n he was trying to ask someoone to carry it for him ... haha ... but too bad I disturbed him n asked him to pose a foto with the bear ... he was like "complaining" ... aniwae I like "distrubing" pple ... somehow tis mischievious nature of me haven't eluded me yet ... guess it what kept me alive ... Cheehong was there as well n so was baowen n aivee ... met others as well like Yong Ping, Tianfong ... was so happy for them n we went celebrating after tt ... the weather was bad ... but it nvr dulls the mood ... ended up the whole afternoon at Coffee Bean, wasting the day away ... was juz talking n talking ... as though it will b a while when we will meet again ... it was rather late when I travelled back home ... ate dinner outside ... have to eat dinner again when I reached home becuz mum wanted me to have dinner ... it was sad travelling back with my frenzs n tinking there next semester I will b like chionging 7 modules without them ard ... I kept telling pple I was sad seeing almost all my frenzs graduating ... the 3 yrs of friendship were meaningful to me ... it was sth memorable ... sth I cldn't forget ... sth I cldn't swap it for anything ... when I told pple I was sad, few pple believed ... mb I am always in my cheerful self ... but mb I am too much of a feeling person tt parting is always sth difficult for me to swallow ... when I left for Sweden earli tis yr, I was realli realli sad ... I woke up in the morning tinking abt my family ... tinking abt my frenzs until I started making new frenzs who were v nice ... yst called my tuition's kid mum who have loaned me all her winter stuff ... said her son was not performing well in Chemistry and she wld ask her son whether she need some tuition in Chemistry ... called me tis morning n asked whether I cld find time to teach her son ... it was gd to b back again but I knew it wld b beyond me to teach 'A' level Chemistry ... recommended my buddy Beng Hwee ... who has such passion for teaching ... a guy who valued kindness + friendship ... guess auntie was disappointed i couldn't take up but was grateful for my recommendation ... i started teaching tuition 5 yrs ago with a lot of enthusiasm, a lot of belief and i'm glad tt my tuition have always improved n the parents hav always liked me ... it's alwae made me felt gratified when I thot of tt. back to top?

it has been realli a long time, since i wrote my blog n so much has happened in my life ... anyway my one mth travelling ard in Europe nvr gave me the opportunity to use the internet ... n it too ex to use it in the hostel ... so it has to wait until I return to Singapore ... n it has been 3 days since I returned to Singapore ... the beginning of June seemed like a bit far away, sometime I just helped tinking how time realli flies, throughout my stay in Sweden I was preparing for the Stockholm Marathon ... somehow I wanted to take part in a marathon and in fact I have trained in Singapore a couple of month before I left, I wanted to take part in the December Marathon in Singapore for some reasons of mine ... but in the end I decided on the Stockholm Marathon, somehow I thought if I run the marathon it could help erase tings out of my mind, forget abt tings n perhaps move on ... anyway it seemed crazy to train n run with recurrent knee injury ... it hurts during cold day n so I was careful when I'm training the longest I train was 30 km, a far cry from the 42 km I need to ran on the day ... my shoe only arrived one day before ... but Asics is the best running shoe IN THE WORLD ... u don need to condition it ... becuz it's the BEZ ... so din get a blister ... n I completed the run without walking ... quite glad ... but my knee was swollen after ... couldn't walk ... n i was limping n walking with a speed slower than the old man ... but with the medal in hand ... even if I limped ... I limped with pride haha ... anyway after the marathon ... was with kwun ho and his frenzs from UK ... they were touring Scandinavia ... a fun gp of pple n I liked their company but it was too short oni for a day den they are off to Norway I supposed. .. I spent a day in Stockholm myself ... went to the archipelago ... spent a lot of $$$$ but den was nvr guilty abt it ... I was nvr guilty abt spending $$$ ... tt y i overspent n spent too much ... where got people go exchange spends more than 12K ... anyway after Stockholm went over to ROme... a hot sunny city ... with a charming landscape ... there is tis magic abt the city ... n I was delighted when I reached there ... but my frenzs were quite disappointed ... they say it was rather run down ... but I loved the city n I was happy there ... but I was always happy so it doesn't mean a ting rite ... nxt stop Florence ... a disappointing city ... I suggested the place but nvr meant it becuz I was always so hopelessly bz so Jayce planned until ROme n no one planned the rest of Italy ... but we got to see the leaning tower of PISA ... n is so impressive ... for once I was REAL impressed ... we took quite a couple of fotos there ... it was drizzling a bit n Rachel lost her fone ... she was rather sad I supposed ... den it was off to Venice ... a romantic place ... a special place ... n a place whereby everything that were old were beautiful ... there's a beauty in the many canals ... but the map was a mess ... n I was supposed to be the "TOUR GUIDE" for the day ... Holy shit!!! shouldn't as volunteer ... took us so long to reach our first attraction ... but anyway the gals have so much fun shopping for stuff along the way ... anyway Venice is perfect for me ... I shld consider it as a honeymoon vacation =) haha ... it's in my shortlist hehe ... n I got to meet Tony Adams and his lovely partner ... took a foto with him ... Venice was number 5 of all the 25 cities I have visited for the exchange not bad huh ***

returned to Singapore on a Sunday ... my family was there ... Yuan song n pals made a mistake regarding the flight details so it was oni my family ... but there were too much to talk so it was nicer tis way ... beta tis way ... there were a large crowd sending me off to Sweden i cld still remember ... but anyway met Dick on Monday for haircut appointment ... my hairstylist chatted with me ... anyway he has got nt much change ... n I went to Dick's home n realised tt his concept of messiness is still tidy in my opinion ... he wanted me to watch Spiderman with his gp of frenzs on Monday nite but my family wanted me for dinner... so has to give it a miss ... anyway there will b lotsa of outings n I hope to have time for all my frenzs ... actualli now I know wat I liked abt Singapore ... it's not the way of life ... it's too hectic n pple too stressed ... but I guessed it muz be my frenzs + family tt made all the difference ... they were so special in my opinion ... when I was citilink on Monday afternoon, it felt realli strange ... suddenly seeing so much Chinese n I was among them, it felt so strange tt I was like in a new place n I was a bit anxious for the first time, hoping to get use to it real soon ... gonna writing for now back to top?