A Shambolic July


I will always remember July 2007 ...
always remember all the mistakes
I had made ... to me
it was a good wakeup CALL


Phoenix & me ended our "special" relationship
on July 25


Between Jun 27 to Jul 14 I made
lotsa mistakes... all those mistakes
cost me dear


I was clearly the culprit ... tt is
honestly all I want to say


my actions were ambiguous
at best & my EGO is my
worst ENEMY


EGO Kunyao ... pathetic...


we chatted two hours ... after
2.5 weeks of silence...
I finally heard her talk


the first hour was tough ...
becuz there were a lot of
resentments ... but I'm glad
we had a honest conversation


after an hour, I heard her
trademark laughter ... by then,
of cuz we have became frenzs ...



I know myself quite well ...
ME ... I'm a SUPER
egoistic person ...
tis was a tight slap on my face,
a good Wake-up call


It's 11:40 pm ... I'm not quite
exhausted ... but the past 2 weeks
was like being in a
terrible dream


I had known Phoenix for slightly more than

a year ... I'm glad
to have known her ... glad
tt she was always there supporting
me in my tough first year
at work


Phoenix is beautiful in
everyway. I luv her spontaneity,
her sporty personality and the
care n generosity she
shown towards her friends.


Feb 2006; I noticed a lady
walked past the common corridor
in the lab. I was intrigued
by this lady; she was here
sometimes but nt always


When I finally knew her name, I
was ecstatic.


In Early 2006, I wld be
@ the canteen and watched
her queued up in front
of the noodles store


All those days, I still
remember them so dearly.


In May ... I was having a
serious bouts of flu ... when
I came back ... I was missing her v badly


Before knowing her ... there was
so much anticipation ...
I could walk pass the room
where she might be in occasionally ...
glanced towards my left
hoping to see her


The first few months of work wasn't
easy ... but getting to see
her occasionally more than
made up for it


there were lotsa ups and downs ...
things always took a twist
when we were
conversing well


In November, when I knew that
she was leaving for Australia ...
I cried ...


I don't cry easily but affairs
of the heart always make
me a softer person.


Still, I wanted to pursue things with
her. She always thought I like
challenges n tt partly
y I continue with things


But it is not true ... I have the
never say die spirit becuz
I couldn't survive without it ...
But my liking for
her has nothing to do with
tt ...


Love & determination
are things which I don
equate together ... for me
my liking for her is real ...
nvr has any doubts abt it
, nvr will


My biggest regret is she
never believe me completely ...
I don blame her for
tt becuz we just
din spend enuff time
together before she
left for Australia


When the foundation
isn't there, things
can be difficult


During quiet moments, I really
felt her absence. I miss
our witty conversation,
her laughter n the
care she always shower me


Everyday from Feb 15,
I wish I could touch her,
hold her hands and hug
her


For me, it will take a while
to get over things, but
I will recover.